i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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