Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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