Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he shaved USA in his pubs
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
