okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
