It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
