I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
