Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
