Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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