i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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