So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
