elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
