like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
