..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
