Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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