their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
