Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
