since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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