my room smells like sperm. sweet.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
