Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
