Betty ford says i'm here all night
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My dick has a subreddit
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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