I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you win again, gameday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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