I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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