Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
