We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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