im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
