Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
