think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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