you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
