i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
