Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
