And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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