She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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