Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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