sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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