So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
