that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
