dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
