No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
