how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
