This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
