So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
