their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
