i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
