I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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