On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
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