its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
