You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
