You're my little dorito
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There are leaves in my underwear?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
