your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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