and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Randomize
