How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
